Your Only Competition Is You
“You do not have any other competition in the world than yourself.”
That’s how my friend Mudita Nigam closed our conversation on our podcast.
I want you to sit with it for a moment before I say anything else about it, because I think it’s easy to hear a sentence like that and stash it away as just another pithy motivational quote.
But coming from Mudita, it didn’t feel like just another hanging kitty poster. It felt impactful. Mudita is an engineer leading teams of teams at Amazon while moving — in her own words — at supersonic speed. In an industry that runs almost entirely on comparison with performance cycles, promotion committees, and stacked rankings – the next rung on the ladder is being climbed by the person next to you and there’s only one ladder. If anyone had reason to believe she was in a race against others, it was Mudita. But here she was telling us explicitly that she isn’t.
The Silent Comparison
Almost none of us think of ourselves as being particularly competitive in a basic sense. We don’t picture ourselves elbowing a rival or hurting someone’s shins before competition. But, comparison inevitably sneaks in anyway.
It shows up as the internal scorecard you keep against the peer who got promoted faster. It’s the team that seems to ship more, complain less, and burn out slower. Lately, it even shows up as comparison against machines and technology like AI.
In our discussion, we consider whether this comparison is even fair.
Crystal vs Rubber Balls
The only comparison that might serve us is knowing which things to prioritize and what can wait for later. Together, Mudita and I discussed a helpful framework for prioritization. That is, understanding the difference between the types of balls you are juggling is key.
Ask yourself – are they crystal balls or rubber balls? Some of what you’re juggling — like your physical and mental health, your closest relationships, and your own sense of who you are — is crystal. Drop that ball and it shatters. You’ll spend a long time picking up the pieces and it may never be recovered.
Other things like soft deadlines and deprioritized projects are rubber balls. They bounce. You can drop them and pick them back up when you have more time.
Human First Leadership
Mudita talked about how she learned, as a young girl in a small town in India, that the “sub-caste” other kids kept asking her about didn’t apply to her. When she came home confused with questions, her father answered simply: you are human first.
And that was everything. This perspective formed the foundation of Mudita’s growth and development. Long before she ever walked into a workplace ripe with internal and external comparison, she’d already been taught that her worth was intrinsic.
That grounding belief shows up later in a skill often overlooked by today’s developing leaders, and that’s self-advocacy. Mudita talked about learning, sometimes the hard way, that your work doesn’t always speak for itself. Sometimes you have to speak for it.
Helping your management team understand the impact of your performance is key. Not necessarily because you are competing with the person next to you but because if you aren’t your own best advocate, no one else will be.
Consider the Crystal
So, is there a race you are running against a competitor who never actually was one? Is it a peer? A co-worker? Maybe even an earlier version of yourself that no longer is…
Because here’s the thing. You are replaceable at your job. Everyone is. You are not replaceable in your family or in your friendships. And isn’t that the whole point?
Your job — the fancy title, the varying promotion cycle, the stacked rank ratings — that was never the place of irreplacability. Your job is like a bouncing rubber ball that you will rebound from if it falls. Your family. Your friends. The people who love you. You are irreplaceable in that space. That’s the crystal ball that will shatter once you check out. Your presence is the glue that holds that crystal ball together.
So, this week when you’re moving at supersonic speeds again, observe moments when you catch yourself measuring your self-worth against someone else’s and ask yourself whether that race is even yours to run and whether the competition itself even serves you. Chances are, the answer will be a resounding “No!”.
If you’re open to it, share some of the ways in which you catch yourself in competition. Are there ways that this comparison can be reframed? I love catching up with you and I look forward to reading your insights.
If this resonated, I’d encourage you to listen to the full conversation with Mudita. Her journey from a small town in India to leading engineering organizations and building teams of teams at Amazon is a perfect jumping-off point for exploring the role of AI in leadership and prioritizing humanity in a dynamic technological landscape.
