Learning to Love Again

How Loving Someone I’ve Never Met is Teaching Me to Love Again

At the beginning of April, I was listening to a podcast from Tara Brach. She was one of my teachers in the Mindfulness Meditation Teachers Training Program (MMTCP) many years ago and I continue to find her insights to be especially helpful. She asked, “Who are you, if there wasn’t this problem you are facing right now?”

Something in me answered right away – I would be love.

It took just a split second to arrive.

I am love. I almost said it out loud - pure love.

Not dependent or independent of the pain or the problem.

Just … love.

But, even I began to have nagging doubts. Could I hold onto love without knowing just how the month will unfold for me? Can I hold onto love when my body aches? When the night stretches on without relief? When my mind returns to its familiar patterns? But again, what do I have to lose?

So I Choose Love

So perhaps I was willing to experiment with the idea. With what love means. With what it looks like. With how it makes itself known.

And, in the perfect response to my expanding vibration of love, that’s when I was introduced to love on a wholly different level.

A love that knows no bounds. Pure and unconditional.

You see, our son and daughter-in-law shared that they are expecting a baby. A baby! I’m going to be a grandmother!

Suddenly, this practice of love, being love, and being in love, feels less abstract. It has somewhere to go. It has someone to meet!

Poetry Returns

I wrote to my newest inspiration almost right away, poetry easily returning to me:

I see you everywhere, my little one.

In the cherry blossoms, peeking through soft pink petals.

In the river flowing around the rocks.

In the bright blue sky, with streaks of white—

as if you are writing something just for me.

The Thread that Binds

Feeling the love bursting forth, I began writing letters to this little one waiting to be born. It became a way for me to stay connected to this concept of love in its purest form.

Then, in April, on my mother’s birthday, I was caught a bit off-guard. She would have been 100 this year.

So, I think about her. I write about her. About how strong she was. About how unconditionally she loved me. How remarkable she was. About what she might have felt, knowing this new life is coming forth.

I write to my little one. In loving memory of my mother. Of their great-grandmother. Of something that feels like a thread connecting all of us.

Expansion of Love

Little one, you are teaching me to love again. New love. Love for the first time. It’s truly remarkable. I can love this little being I have not yet seen with such ease. With no expectations. Without fear. Without condition. Without restraint.

Which makes me wonder….

If I can love someone I haven’t met with such openness, can I love the people already in my life more openly? Can I soften the sharp edges of expectation? Can I love them without limit too?

Taking this idea further – can I include myself in this vibration of love? What about my struggles? My limitations? Can I love the whole package of me? Can I love who I’ve become?

There are ways that we invite love into our lives. There are ways we restrict the current of love from flowing.

Love is Regenerative

Love, in its purest form, does not require history, track record, evidence, or even proof of worthiness. I know this, because I am in love with someone I have never met — and there is not a single condition attached to it. Not one.

So, what would it mean to bring even a tiny bit of that unconditional love to the people already with me? To my friends navigating their own struggles. To the leader in my coaching practice who is harder on themselves than they would ever be on anyone else. To the version of myself that is still trying to figure things out.

What if my grandchild has not only given me someone to love — but has shown me how? Love isn’t a finite resource. It’s not something we can run out of.

Love is never-ending.

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Mindful Minute: Are there ways that you have remained open to receiving and giving love? Small ways? Big ways? Feel free to share. Your perspectives could shift something for someone else.