Envy doesn’t feel good - and it can do very real and lasting damage. Research shows it increases stress, anxiety, and even depression. At work, it erodes team trust, leaving people isolated when they need the connection the most.
But envy doesn’t have to fester. With awareness and mindful practice, we can begin to turn it into something that strengthens us instead of consuming us.
In Buddhism, envy or issā is considered one of the “poisons” of the mind. It clouds compassion, hardens the heart, and blocks joy.
The antidote to envy lies in the Brahmavihārās or application of the four “sublime attitudes” that form the foundation of wise and compassionate living, including:
Mettā — loving-kindness
Karunā — compassion
Muditā — rejoicing in others’ happiness
Upekkhā — equanimity
Here are a few ways these principles can play out:
✴️ Observe in the moment
Envy can hide in small reactions - a sinking feeling when a colleague is recognized, a sarcastic thought about someone else’s good news, tightness in the chest after scrolling online. By simply naming it—“This is envy” — you create space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting.
✴️ Ask what it’s signaling (Viriya)
Envy often signals something we long for ourselves. Instead of letting it fester, use it as information. What value, dream, or need is it highlighting? What would it look like to take a step toward realizing that?
✴️ See with a Lens of Compassion (Karunā)
Every success hides unseen struggle. Behind every promotion, award, or highlight reel, there were most definitely failures, restarts and self-doubt. When you can see the whole human, compassion balances out the envy.
✴️ Practice appreciative joy (Muditā)
This is envy’s antidote. Try celebrating someone else’s success as if it were your own. Bring to mind someone who is absolutely thriving.
Instead of feeling bad, send them silent, good wishes. Something like: “May your happiness continue. May your joy deepen.” At first, it might feel forced and inauthentic. But, over time, it trains the mind to cultivate feelings of abundance rather than scarcity, strengthening relationships along the way.
✴️ Reconnect with your own worth
Envy thrives on comparison. Take time to ground yourself in what you bring - your strengths, your contributions, your journey, your unique path. Journaling or reflecting on recent wins can help you rediscover your own value. Feelings of envy pull us into a place of lack, but an attitude of gratitude brings us back to what’s real and abundant in our own lives.
✴️ Choose connection over competition (Upekkhā)
When envy rises, and it inevitably will, ask: how can I connect instead of compare? A genuine congratulations, a curious question, or even reaching out for collaboration can shift the dynamic from rivalry to relationship building. From comparison to connection.
Another person’s win doesn’t mean less for you. It means more for all of us. Each success adds to the world’s abundance. That abundance is something we can all share.
Envy is a very natural emotion. It’s part of what makes us human. But it doesn’t have to consume us. When we aren’t afraid to speak its name, to listen to what it’s telling us, and to practice joy for others, we create a culture where we uplift ourselves and encourage others to thrive.
The question is not: How do I shine brighter than them?
The question is: How do I live my life so fully that our light can reflect off of one another and glow even brighter?