Dear Friends,
We have been spending a lot of time in the world of artificial intelligence lately. There is plenty to explore in that space, and we have some amazing thought leaders in that space that you will hear from soon.
But today, I want to pause and offer you something older than any technology. It’s a practice that has become the cornerstone of my own healing journey and one that I hope can help you too.
For the past year, I have been living with pain. My spine, my knee, my hips have been my teachers. I’ve sat in waiting rooms and on treatment tables for hours. I have iced, I have stretched, I have surrendered, and I have hoped.
And somewhere in the middle of all this, I discovered that the most powerful medicine is not a pill, an injection, a supplement, or even a healing modality. For me, it has been attention. Specifically, a way of being with the pain rather than being at war with it.
The Two Arrows
Buddha taught us about two arrows.
The first arrow is the pain itself. This is the sensation that’s raw and real. Something hurts when you move, and you wince through the pain.
The second arrow is everything else we mentally add to the physical pain. It’s questions like – What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get better? And statements like —It’s my fault. It’s their fault. The medical system is at fault.
The first arrow is unavoidable. The second arrow is the one we are firing at ourselves, again and again. And those are totally avoidable.
I know the second arrow very well. I watch it whizz by every time I worry about my aches and pains, blame myself or my circumstances, and when I haunt myself with worst-case scenarios — especially those that arrive in late-night ponderings.
I’ve noticed the impact that the second arrow has on me. I’ve gone into negative thought spirals. I’ve become contracted. I’ve shrunk from myself. From others. Lost connection with my own equilibrium… with my own soul. The one that surely knows how to be joyful in any circumstance!
Pain is a Messenger
There is another way.
The aching body is not the problem. Its nature is to be in touch with reality. It stays in the present moment. It feels what it feels, and it tells us the truth about it. It doesn’t hold back, and it can’t do anything else but be.
So, pain is not a malfunction or a misfire. It is a messenger that is begging us to listen. Beckoning us to be attended to, not abandoned, not numbed, and most definitely not ignored.
The more we ignore pain, the louder it speaks. Pain does not increase as a way to punish us. Pain escalates because no one is listening. No one is taking action to address it.
Pain can be a Portal
When I stopped opposing pain and started meeting it with curiosity, kindness, and space instead of dismissing or ignoring it, the pain became a portal — a doorway to a deeper presence and wholeness I had not known before it arrived.
I opened this portal to presence through a meditation I learned during mindfulness meditation teacher training. I never thought I would need this particular tool, but it has brought me relief nearly every single day these past months. I hope it brings you relief too.
An important note before you go to meditation…
This practice is a companion to good medical care. It is not a replacement. Sometimes the message of the pain is to go see your doctor. When that happens, please do.
If at any time this practice feels like too much, let it go. It is not for today. You can always come back to it another day. Let there be gentleness and compassion for yourself.
And now, if you are ready, please find yourself a seat and click on the audio recording above to go deeper.
If something arose for you after listening, I’d love to hear about it! Please share. I read every comment!
